The Vicious Cycle of Bad Karma and Seeking Vengeance
I've always believed in karma. You know, the age-old notion that what goes around comes around. Yet, for the longest time, I seemed to be stuck in a never-ending loop of bad karma, and it wasn't until recently that I realized why. The answer, as it turned out, was simple yet profoundly unsettling: I was my own worst enemy.
When someone wronged me, I wouldn't just feel hurt; I'd be consumed by a burning desire for revenge. I'd spend countless hours plotting ways to make them pay, imagining scenarios where they'd get a taste of their own medicine. This obsession with vengeance became a dark shadow that followed me everywhere, coloring my thoughts and actions with bitterness.
It started with small things—a friend betraying my trust, a coworker taking credit for my ideas. Each time, instead of seeking resolution or, heaven forbid, forgiveness, I chose retaliation. A cold shoulder here, a snide comment there. It felt good, momentarily. But the satisfaction was fleeting, and the resentment only grew stronger, feeding a vicious cycle.
As time went on, the list of people I held grudges against expanded. I began to see enemies everywhere, convinced that the world was out to get me. In my quest for retribution, I didn't notice how my actions were poisoning my own life. The negativity I harbored didn't just affect those I targeted; it seeped into every corner of my existence, souring relationships and opportunities alike.
I became a bitter person, always on the lookout for the next slight, real or imagined. My friends noticed the change. They grew distant, tired of the constant negativity. My work suffered, too, as I spent more time plotting revenge than focusing on my responsibilities. I was trapped in a cycle of my own making, unable to see that I was the architect of my misfortune.
The turning point came when I hit rock bottom. I had isolated myself so thoroughly that there was no one left to blame for my misery but me. It was a harsh revelation. In seeking vengeance, I had become the very thing I despised: a person who caused pain. The universe, in its twisted way, had delivered exactly what I had been putting out.
Breaking the cycle wasn't easy. It took time, introspection, and a willingness to change. I started small, choosing to let go of minor grudges. Each act of forgiveness felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders, a step towards reclaiming my life. I sought help, talking to friends and professionals who guided me on a path of healing and self-awareness.
I've learned to live an intentional life by starting a journal, which inspired me to create the prompt diary Finding my Purpose. (available on Amazon.com)
Gradually, I learned that forgiveness isn't about letting others off the hook; it's about freeing myself from the chains of anger and resentment. By letting go of the desire for revenge, I started to see the world in a different light. I could finally breathe again, unburdened by the toxic cycle of bad karma I had created.
Looking back, I realize that vengeance is a fool's game.
Vindictive thoughts promise satisfaction but deliver only more pain. Forgiveness, on the other hand, offers a way out—a chance to break free from the cycle and find peace. It's not easy, and it requires strength, but it's worth it. After all, life is too short to be spent wishing ill on others. It's time to wish well, to forgive, and to move forward. In doing so, I've begun to build a life filled with positive karma, one act of kindness at a time.
If you can relate to this post, you would probably love my soul-searching workbook Finding my Purpose. (available on Amazon.com)
By the way, Karma isn't always nasty. It can also be good to you. Here's a KARMA t-shirt design I found recently online and my affiliate link.
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